I am sorry for being quiet

Quite recently I have taken a step back from blogging and communicating with bloggers on Twitter. You are probably wondering why or you might not care but I know I am not well. A lot of things have been going on at work recently and my dentist has told me I am suffering from anxiety. People have said to me well how does your dentist know? Well I am chewing the insides of my mouth constantly and causing my teeth problems. I am also grinding my teeth and the pain from biting all day is unbearable.

I won’t go into what has happened because I don’t know if people from work will read my blog. To be honest I hope they never do but you never know how much stalking people get up to.

It is a really difficult time for me at the moment and the constant crying at home has gotten out of hand. I promise I will be back but I just need some me time and to try and figure out what’s best for me.

If you’ve ever been in my situation, how did you manage?

I think I’m suffering from stress

So within the last two months my team at work has gone from three to one. Who’s the one? Yup, me. I am now doing three people’s job roles and there’s only one of me and I come with two hands and one brain. It was the day I was dreading to be left all alone and now I think I’m suffering from stress because of it. The funny thing is that I only started in January and now I am looking after Marketing.

My colleague left nearly two weeks ago and she dealt with the social media and the press releases. Yes this is easy to do, I know that but I’m responsible for so much more and after what has happened today, I would just like to walk out. Obviously I can’t because I need a job and marketing jobs don’t come up often where I live.

I love what I do, I feel I have developed many skills and still have a lot to learn but handling all of this at 24 on my own is an absolute nightmare. Last Friday I had a small nosebleed at work – 100% think it is stress related. My moods are any how, I have good days and today I have had a bad day hence why I am reflecting on life. Headaches, dizzy spells, teary eyes, severe tiredness, can’t talk about work without getting upset – is this even normal?

We are currently recruiting for someone to come and help me but it could take up to two months. TWO MONTHS?! Who waits that long, I certainly can’t handle that. My meeting with the MD went well yesterday as I felt positive and on top of things but when you’re the only one in the Marketing Department, you are the one getting bombarded with emails and requests. Yay for me!

I think what bothers me is I don’t have someone to say ‘oh would you mind dealing with this please?’ No-one to fob anything off to or answer the phone whilst you’re trying to do something. I have such an array of things to do and I like making lists, ticking off the things I have done and then adding more. Those things are not a problem for me, I go into major panic mode when all of a sudden everything goes wrong and someone wants you here, there and then somewhere else.

If only we were able to pause time and make the surroundings just stop for a minute. If anyone is called Bernard and you have a watch, hit me up please.