As some of you probably know I’m currently in Germany having the most incredible time. I will be writing a post about my trip but for now this is about something else.
I’ll admit I have been struggling a lot recently with stress so I thought let’s run away from it. I ran away. I am so glad I did decide to come on my own because it’s given me lots of thinking time. At first I was terrified of my own thoughts, I envisioned me having a melt down but I actually feel so free.
The problems I’ve been having in my shoulders and upper back have been liberated. The pain was so bad it made me cry and I had to go for a Indian Head Massage to help relieve the pain – it worked but there were still knots.
I won’t go into what this trip has helped me come to terms with but I am pretty confident I know what the right thing to do is. I almost feel like a new person which is daft because I’m still the same old curly haired glasses nerd but with a weight lifted.
My understanding of bad situations is get yourself out of them. Don’t think I need this or but it’s been like this – just do what you need to do. Don’t hold back, don’t live with regrets. The new year is coming so we know everyone will be saying ‘a new year, a new me.’ Well may be I’ll be one of those people.
Quite recently I have taken a step back from blogging and communicating with bloggers on Twitter. You are probably wondering why or you might not care but I know I am not well. A lot of things have been going on at work recently and my dentist has told me I am suffering from anxiety. People have said to me well how does your dentist know? Well I am chewing the insides of my mouth constantly and causing my teeth problems. I am also grinding my teeth and the pain from biting all day is unbearable.
I won’t go into what has happened because I don’t know if people from work will read my blog. To be honest I hope they never do but you never know how much stalking people get up to.
It is a really difficult time for me at the moment and the constant crying at home has gotten out of hand. I promise I will be back but I just need some me time and to try and figure out what’s best for me.
If you’ve ever been in my situation, how did you manage?
So within the last two months my team at work has gone from three to one. Who’s the one? Yup, me. I am now doing three people’s job roles and there’s only one of me and I come with two hands and one brain. It was the day I was dreading to be left all alone and now I think I’m suffering from stress because of it. The funny thing is that I only started in January and now I am looking after Marketing.
My colleague left nearly two weeks ago and she dealt with the social media and the press releases. Yes this is easy to do, I know that but I’m responsible for so much more and after what has happened today, I would just like to walk out. Obviously I can’t because I need a job and marketing jobs don’t come up often where I live.
I love what I do, I feel I have developed many skills and still have a lot to learn but handling all of this at 24 on my own is an absolute nightmare. Last Friday I had a small nosebleed at work – 100% think it is stress related. My moods are any how, I have good days and today I have had a bad day hence why I am reflecting on life. Headaches, dizzy spells, teary eyes, severe tiredness, can’t talk about work without getting upset – is this even normal?
We are currently recruiting for someone to come and help me but it could take up to two months. TWO MONTHS?! Who waits that long, I certainly can’t handle that. My meeting with the MD went well yesterday as I felt positive and on top of things but when you’re the only one in the Marketing Department, you are the one getting bombarded with emails and requests. Yay for me!
I think what bothers me is I don’t have someone to say ‘oh would you mind dealing with this please?’ No-one to fob anything off to or answer the phone whilst you’re trying to do something. I have such an array of things to do and I like making lists, ticking off the things I have done and then adding more. Those things are not a problem for me, I go into major panic mode when all of a sudden everything goes wrong and someone wants you here, there and then somewhere else.
If only we were able to pause time and make the surroundings just stop for a minute. If anyone is called Bernard and you have a watch, hit me up please.