My invisible illness means I am just fine

I have written a post before about my Joint Hypermobility and how everyone is extremely judgemental when it comes to a young person sitting down on public transport without considering others. Wait, no that is not the case. You have no idea that I could be needing this seat and to be honest I do not need to justify myself to anyone. Readers thoughts ‘Oh God she’s off ranting again.’ YES I FRICKEN AM!

As you know I have had to take on a Christmas Temp job in retail because no bloody soul will give me a nice office job. Thing is, it is making me ill again and I have no motivation to do anything else because I am physically exhausted – YAY thanks Fibromyalgia you bitch. STOP telling me working in retail is easy because 1) it is not, I have to put up with people speaking to me like dirt 2) I work unnecessariliy over the Christmas period so people can buy ‘bargains’ – don’t do this please and 3) everyday takes its toll on my joints despite what I might be doing.

For example, yesterday I worked 09:30 – 17:30 which is a normal day, not too long and I have done this many times before. However, for some reason my body decided to hate me and cause me to be in that much pain I needed to take Codeine but I forced myself to not go down the painkiller route. I hobble around, I shut myself down because my mood is incredibly low and people will think it is because of them but it really isn’t. This is where the Fibro kicks in, I am that drained I can’t concentrate and make little mistakes. I forget how to spell, I forget what I am doing, previously forgotten how to say certain words and my eyes feel constantly blury when I look around. You might say ‘Oh you’re just tired, put your feet up and get an early night.’ Yeah okay I’ll take your advice and see how it doesn’t cure me. Never thought of that before.

Today I feel awful hence why I am writing this blog post as I can’t cope with people saying I have it easy and that my job is a ‘piece of piss’. Yeah it might be and I enjoy my job even though I am looking for an alternative but why should I go out, work my ass off to come home and be ill when so many people can work and just can’t be arsed to get off their backside so they claim. <– Ah sorry for the long sentence. Ergh, I am not entitled to any sort of PIP because I’m not severe enough but I still go to bloody work.

Point of this post is, I am angry people are telling me I’ll be fine or yeah just apply for anything cos it’ll be better than what you’re doing now. I don’t think so, my manager is so understanding and whilst I am looking for a Social Media / Marketing Assistant job I am still scared that an office job will tire me out. Just watch what you’re saying before making assumptions please.

I want to work at home doing what I love, that’s all I want.

2 thoughts on “My invisible illness means I am just fine

  1. chichiogwe says:

    Sorry to hear you are experiencing issues and discrimination regarding your disability. Also, I used to work in retail so I know how awful it can be.

    Like yourself, I want to be able to work from home doing what I love, so I’ve decided to become a freelancer (not on a full-time basis yet). Perhaps try using freelance websites to help you find work?

    Also, as a content writer you *might* want to consider this: http://www.addfolio.com/apply-as-writer/

    Chichi
    chichi-writes.blogspot.co.uk

    • samanthajsmith says:

      I’m okay now Chichi, I have been offered a job this afternoon but thank you for the link. Good luck to you!

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